Hi there, it's Finley 👋🏼 and Happy Friday.
A Look Back: Blessing your kids with relational insurance.
Smartphone Prep Workshop: December 8th with my 14yr old daughter!
Strict or easy parents ... it hurts just the same
As a parent, you know you must discipline your kids, but wow does it come with a lot of personal emotions.
I've had to be involved in disciplining my kids for a combined 50 years when you add their ages all together. I'll tell you what, I've never done it without conflict inside of me.
Sure we had to discipline our kids more often when they were little, but there have been plenty of poor teenage decisions recently that have required tough love from us too.
Discipline comes with the role of being mom or dad.
There is a reason that the following phrases have found their way into cliché territory...
Spare the rod and spoil the child.
This is gonna hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
...which no child has ever agreed with in history.
A lot of words have been written about HOW a parent should discipline their kids over the years. Maybe someday I'll share our family's approach if there is enough interest.
However, today is for you, the parent.
I wanted to answer this question, one that I have long wondered about personally.
If you've ever wondered why you feel the way you do...
If you've ever avoided the disciplinary moment...
If you've ever stressed over the job to be done...
Here are 8 personal reasons why
it hurts to discipline your kids
Reason #1: You are on the front row watching your kids reap what they sow. Being the agent of accountability when they disobey isn't fun.
Reason #2: You question whether you're doing the right thing. There are many moments of doubt as a parent, especially when you are making disciplinary judgment calls
Reason #3: You see yourself in the disobedience of your child. Witnessing their attitude, especially ones that mirror yours, bring feelings of defeat.
Reason #4: You hurt also when they hurt. The tears, pouting faces, and sour attitudes are painful to witness and heartbreaking to see.
Reason #5: You have to exhibit more maturity than your kids. They get to act 5 years old (or 15) but you can't. Being more mature is exhausting!
Reason #6: You have your world disrupted and inconvenienced. There is a personal cost to you when you slow down in order to discipline your kids.
Reason #7: You are required to think, feel, and act all at once. "What is the appropriate discipline? What am I feeling and what are they feeling? Where is my energy & attention going to come from for this?"
Reason #8: You know that you'll have to discipline your kids again in the near future. It's never one and done.
Don't lose heart.
Stay firm in your convictions.
Pick your battles wisely but stay consistent.
Know that your children need you to be an adult so they can one day grow into one. Your discipline administered into their young lives bears fruit a decade+ later, I promise.
On a lighter note ...
"First grade is wild.
You're learning how to be a human.
You're learning how to write things down.
You're learning how to manage friendships & follow rules.
All the while, everyone's teeth are falling out all over the place!"