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Power-Decade Parenting

Family Friday: Escape The After School Eye Roll

Published almost 2 years agoΒ β€’Β 3 min read

Family Friday Newsletter - 3 min read

by: Finley Robinson

A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead

The types of people or actions you endorse in your stories are the characteristics your kids will find honorable and repeatable.

"So, How Was School Today?"

You've likely asked your son or daughter that question at least once this week. You may have asked it a lot more.

I guess you got the same response as I always do. In fact, 90% of the time you get a giant eye roll, right? πŸ™„

Somehow, this has become the default parent question when kids first hop in the car. You haven't seen them in 7 hours and you're dying to know everything!

It's time to reconnect, hear stories, engage in their life, learn about their friends, and find out all the good and the bad from their day. You want to know everything. And that's why they roll their eyes.

It's amazing that we repeat the very things that used to drive us crazy as kids when we become parents, right? I want to share a better alternative and then let you know why it's better.

It's tough to remember life as a kid in elementary or middle school. After all, it was a really long time ago.

I crossed paths with my 11-year-old nephew the other day.

He was fully engaged in a show. I wanted to know how his day was at school, but I knew he wouldn't actually open up and talk with me about it.

So I made a choice to gamify my question....

"Hey bud, tell me how was school today?"
​
Then, I gave him three hand gestures to choose from:
​
Thumbs Up: πŸ‘πŸΌ
Thumbs Down: πŸ‘ŽπŸΌ
Thumb in the Middle: 🀚🏼 (going with this mid emoji)

He looked up from the TV, gave me the mid-thumb gesture 🀚🏼, and then went back to his show without saying a word.

"Cool, kinda mid. Right on man," I responded. That was it.

To be honest, that was good enough. We'd connected enough for me to know that he'd had a mid-day. Better than a bad one for sure.

About 5 seconds later he looked up from the TV.

"Do you want to know why?" (well, of course I wanted to know!)
​
His two-word answer: "ACT Aspire."

And then we were off. We connected and were building even more.

  • He'd summed up his day with a gesture (enough).
  • He'd asked me a question to re-engage (bonus).
  • He'd shared more details to elaborate (upgrade).

Is this a foolproof plan, guaranteed to work on your kids every day? Of course not. But it's better, so much better, for you and for them. Here's why...

5 Reasons This Works

  1. Kids are done with thinking, so keep it simple. It's overwhelming for a kid to think through their entire day and pick out a place to start talking. Giving them three choices (πŸ‘πŸΌ 🀚🏼 πŸ‘ŽπŸΌ) makes it so much simpler on their tired mind.
    ​
  2. Some connection is better than none. A single gesture communicates a lot more than you realize. It says way more than "fine" or "meh" or πŸ™„ which is the likely standard response.
    ​
  3. Their choice gives an emotional kickstart. When they choose between three options: up, down, or mid ... you get an immediate sense of their day compared to others. If you get a week's worth of πŸ‘ŽπŸΌ then you know something deeper is happening.
    ​
  4. Gamification is great for kids (and adults). It provides a unique way for them to respond to questions by removing the complexity. It also gives quick rewards and easy feedback on their day. πŸ€“
    ​
  5. Your response can match theirs. By allowing them to make the tiny first choice (πŸ‘πŸΌ 🀚🏼 πŸ‘ŽπŸΌ) you can immediately know what to bring next. You can share in their sad day, celebrate a good one, or do nothing. All are appropriate.

The best part is that small gamifications will work in countless other moments for your family too. Give it a try this afternoon and let me know how it goes!

See you next Friday,
Finley

Helping parents create a family and wealth that will last a lifetime.

After working as a pastor for 20 years, I am convinced that the most influential people in our entire culture are parents of 3-13 year olds. My wife and I were young parents and counted on the wisdom and stories of others to stay in the game. That's why this newsletter exists. In my role as an investment advisor today I know that wealth is not a number but a way of life. I believe that families should not be asset rich and relationally poor. If you want to talk more about how I can help your family with multi-generational investment planning, let's connect.

 

​Finley Robinson Β· Investment Advisor​

Power-Decade Parenting

By Finley Robinson

Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.

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