​

Family Friday Newsletter - 3 min read by: Finley Robinson

​

A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead

​

"So, How Was School Today?"

You've likely asked your son or daughter that question at least once this week. You may have asked it a lot more.

I guess you got the same response as I always do. In fact, 90% of the time you get a giant eye roll, right? 🙄

Somehow, this has become the default parent question when kids first hop in the car. You haven't seen them in 7 hours and you're dying to know everything!

It's time to reconnect, hear stories, engage in their life, learn about their friends, and find out all the good and the bad from their day. You want to know everything. And that's why they roll their eyes.

It's amazing that we repeat the very things that used to drive us crazy as kids when we become parents, right? I want to share a better alternative and then let you know why it's better.

It's tough to remember life as a kid in elementary or middle school. After all, it was a really long time ago.

I crossed paths with my 11-year-old nephew the other day.

He was fully engaged in a show. I wanted to know how his day was at school, but I knew he wouldn't actually open up and talk with me about it.

So I made a choice to gamify my question....

He looked up from the TV, gave me the mid-thumb gesture 🤚🏼, and then went back to his show without saying a word.

To be honest, that was good enough. We'd connected enough for me to know that he'd had a mid-day. Better than a bad one for sure.

About 5 seconds later he looked up from the TV.

And then we were off. We connected and were building even more.

• He'd summed up his day with a gesture (enough).
• He'd asked me a question to re-engage (bonus).
• He'd shared more details to elaborate (upgrade).

Is this a foolproof plan, guaranteed to work on your kids every day? Of course not. But it's better, so much better, for you and for them. Here's why...

5 Reasons This Works

1. Kids are done with thinking, so keep it simple. It's overwhelming for a kid to think through their entire day and pick out a place to start talking. Giving them three choices (👍🏼 🤚🏼 👎🏼) makes it so much simpler on their tired mind.
   ​
2. Some connection is better than none. A single gesture communicates a lot more than you realize. It says way more than "fine" or "meh" or 🙄 which is the likely standard response.
   ​
3. Their choice gives an emotional kickstart. When they choose between three options: up, down, or mid ... you get an immediate sense of their day compared to others. If you get a week's worth of 👎🏼 then you know something deeper is happening.
   ​
4. Gamification is great for kids (and adults). It provides a unique way for them to respond to questions by removing the complexity. It also gives quick rewards and easy feedback on their day. 🤓
   ​
5. Your response can match theirs. By allowing them to make the tiny first choice (👍🏼 🤚🏼 👎🏼) you can immediately know what to bring next. You can share in their sad day, celebrate a good one, or do nothing. All are appropriate.

The best part is that small gamifications will work in countless other moments for your family too. Give it a try this afternoon and let me know how it goes!

See you next Friday,
Finley

​