Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
Family Friday: How Marriages Benefit Kids
A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead
Marriage Titles
My wife and I have held several different titles in our marriage during our 20+ years together as a family.
👩🏻❤️👨🏻 First we were Husband & Wife.
👶🏼 Next was our turn as Mom & Dad.
🧽 For a long stretch we were Butler & Maid.
🥶 We've spent some time as Friends & Enemies.
📣 Recently it's been more Cheerleader & Uber Driver.
👩🏻❤️👨🏻 Now we are back to a new-old stage of Husband & Wife again.
As the years go by though, you easily find yourself moving further and further away from husband & wife. There are a ton of reasons this happens and it happens to every couple.
Sometimes couples move so far away from husband & wife that they no longer refer to each other that way at all and they move on to different lives.
What we experienced and what I've witnessed from hundreds and hundreds of families is this... The most difficult years to be husband & wife are in your power-decade stage of parenting.
So, why share this? First off, it helps to know you're not alone or crazy. Second, because husband & wife matter to your kids more than you'll ever know.
I recently read this statement and thought it summed it up well.
The Benefits Compound
A marriage counselor friend of mine describes being husband & wife this way and it is my favorite word picture I've ever heard: "Marriage is a beautiful butt-kicking."
It brings out the best and worst in all of us.
It is a full-time journey of love and hardship.
It is wonderful and troublesome all at the same time.
Your kids desperately need to see that part of your life, not just managing a household together. They need to witness your sacrifice for one another. They need to be grossed out by your affection too.
So, if you are struggling to be husband & wife right now and need a nudge, here are 7 ways that investing in your marriage will benefit your kids...
1. 🔒 Security - Kids thrive when they feel safe and when parents are secure in their relationship kids know it.
2. 🎉 Fun - When your marriage and friendship are alive, it spills over into happiness and activity for your kids too.
3. 💪🏼 Resilience - When parents leave for a date or a weekend away, it disrupts a child's life, which is hard, but they grow because of it.
4. 🗣 Communication - Words matter in your home. When kids hear you say "I love you" or "I'm sorry" to each other they will repeat it.
5. ❤️🩹 Repair - Marriage is messy and hurts happen. Kids need to know that parents fight and repair the relationship which grows intimacy.
6. 👏🏼 Role-Model - As kids grow up, they need real relationships that help model and orient themselves in the world of love & friendship.
7. ❣️ Love - The foundation of your home is the love-bond you share as husband and wife, which only gets bigger as you love your kids together.
I always hated it when I was in your season and someone would say things like, "All you need is to go on a date once a week!" As if it were that easy. I felt like I was failing when we didn't hit some number or expectation. Don't hear that from me.
I do know this, a healthy marriage (over the long term) is the single greatest parenting investment you can make in the lives of your kids.
Everyone benefits, so do whatever you need to in order to be husband & wife in your challenging season of parenting.
Finley
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Power-Decade Parenting
Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
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