Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
Family Friday: Make sure your kids become friends with each other
Hi there, it's Finley ππΌ
Happy Friday to 170 parents this week.
Today's story takes 3 minutes to read and you can share it here.
What do you mean you're pregnant?
Heads up on this Friday, you might be getting a little TMI today.
It was the summer of 2004 and our oldest daughter was 6 months old.
My wife walked in with a baby in one hand and a positive pregnancy test in the other. I couldn't believe it.
We weren't trying to get pregnant, but little did we know she was already 2 months along with our son. We had 7 months to prepare.
By February we'd had 2 kids in the last 13.5 months and we were overwhelmed.
Life was super hard for those first two years. In fact I may have looked my wife in the eyes when our son turned two and said, "the last couple years have felt like you hate me."
She did not, but that was the emotional toll it had all taken on both of us.
I remember when our kids were born so close together we decided to make an intentional effort for one specific outcome we wanted for them.
We wanted to make sure that our kids were friends
when they grew up.
My wife and I have both been blessed to be close to our siblings throughout the years and still are as adults.
I don't think we are close by accident.
I know not everyone has a positive relationship with their brothers & sisters as adults and for many there is a good and valid reason.
But, as a parent of younger kids, I believe that you should make a strong effort to promote friendship between your kids.
I know that summers are challenging with so many hours together, but stay the course during these months and in the years ahead and you will be so glad you made the effort.
Why is friendship among siblings so important? I'm going to give you 7 quick reasons:
- Kids practice building relationships with each other first before they make friends outside the home.
- They are forced to learn how to forgive and repair a relationship when it is broken, a skill they will always need.
- If they are close in age, when they are in high school they will have someone who uniquely understands the challenges they facing.
- Having a trusted sibling to celebrate you in success and comfort you in your failures is wonderful.
- When you are old and they are making decisions about taking care of you, its a lot better if they are still close π
- Having a built in friend with the same values, because they came from the same home, is more valuable with each passing year.
- When they are grown and gone, you will see them much more often if they are close and like to see each other.
So what do I suggest you do if you want your kids to be lifelong friends?
First, talk about it directly and tell them as a parent you want them to be friends when they grow up.
We told our kids often that we wanted them to be friends with each other. Now that they are in high school and college I love to see it in action.
When my daughter comes home from work or a friends house she usually goes to find her brother right away to talk.
They used to fight over toys and shows and the best seat in the car. Now they share funny Tiktok's and borrow each other sweatshirts.
We told them directly when they were 3, 6, 9, 12, and 15 they would be friends one day and today they are.
Second, take time and stop long enough throughout the week to teach your kids what being a good friend really is.
There are so many things to teach our kids along the way, but being a friend can be overlooked.
It's not about behavior adjustments so that you have a peaceful house.
The vision is building relationship skills and connections between your kids with each other.
One day when you catch them talking together about you behind your back you'll know they've built that special relationship. It's worth it.
Big Idea: Promoting sibling friendship builds individuals and families.
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Facts from Slade Wentworthβ
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That's all for today's writing of Parenting: what we've learned (so far)
If any of this was engaging or you had a small take away,
it always helps when parents share with others.
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Power-Decade Parenting
Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
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