Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
Family Friday: Parenting Changes You Too
A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead
A Changed Man
Two of my favorite movie characters of all time are Red & Andy in the 1994 classic The Shawshank Redemption.
The last 10 minutes are packed with some of the best storytelling & emotional moments I've ever experienced in a movie (did someone say Zihuatanejo?)
When Red discovers that his friend has escaped prison after 27 years in Shawshank, he explains how Andy was able to dig his way to freedom by giving a short geology lesson.
That, and one really big poster."
The geology lesson sounds so much richer when Morgan Freeman is saying it out loud than when you read it.
Ask any seasoned parent and they will tell you, that the "pressure & time" effect of raising kids completely changes you as a person.
About 10 years into being a dad, I started realizing how much I had changed as a man. When people would ask about my experience of having kids so young (we had 2 kids before I turned 25 years old) here's what I first began to understand and articulate ...
"I believe God gives us kids so that we don't stay children ourselves."
It can be easy to lose yourself in your particular stage of family and forget that you are growing as a person too. That is a good thing if you'll allow yourself the space to keep growing.
For what it's worth, here are ...
12 Specific Ways I'm Different
Because I'm A Father
- I'm more patient … nothing will baptize you by fire quite like learning how to be patient with young children & teenagers.
- I'm a better cook … at some point, there are so many mouths to feed and so many meals to eat, you have to learn new skills.
- I appreciate my wife more … there are so many unique gifts and perspectives that your spouse brings to your home.
- I take better care of my body … in order to model it for your kids and stay as healthy as possible, you need to eat well and exercise.
- I have a deeper faith … parents have to trust God because so much about raising small humans is out of your control.
- I have new friendships … the beauty of bonding with others in your community because you share kids the same age is special.
- I'm more disciplined … you have to carve out and identify your priorities when time and energy are at a premium.
- I have grand memories & stories … family time at the beach, in the mountains, during sunsets or dance parties lasts a lifetime.
- I've developed a stronger marriage … being team co-captains creates a strong bond and counseling makes you better too.
- I'm more financially aware … spending money on fun and saving money for the family's future are both crucial long term.
- I'm more aware of my deficiencies … leading a family reveals your cracks and flaws all the way down to your core.
- I have a bigger purpose … life gets really small when it’s all about you, so it's better to have something wonderful to sacrifice for.
Change and growth are never linear nor are they particularly fun. I know you are different and dare I say better because you have joined the society of parenthood.
In the hard days and the good ones too, I hope you'll reflect on how much it's affected you personally, being a mom or dad.
Could you articulate how being a parent has changed you so far? I'd love to hear anything that you could pinpoint if you wanted to reply back and share with me!
Finley
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Power-Decade Parenting
Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
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