Family Friday: The Abandoned Grocery Cart



It's Masters Week, my favorite sporting event of the year.

A year ago I wrote about the necessity of family traditions and how simple but meaningful they can be.

"Building traditions for our kids is important, and your season of kids is the total sweet spot. Repetitive meaningful experiences bring so much connection."


Cartwheels

My wife often tells a story about our family that is hilarious to recall but wasn't funny at all at the time. Do you have those kinds of stories yet in your home?

Whole-family grocery shopping doesn't happen as often today as it used to.

Our kids were 3, 6, and 7 and Walmart Grocery Pickup hadn't been created yet. Now, moms have been taking their kids to buy groceries forever, but there are some shopping sessions that truly stand out.

This one wins the prize for us.

When I used to take my kids to Lowe's for weekend project supplies their eyes would light up.

"Dad, we love going to Lowe's! We're gonna go crazy! They have huge aisles and big boxes we can climb all over!" said my oldest two rascals.

You know it's next level when they pre-plan their antagonism for you.

On this particular grocery run for my wife, my kids were giving her all she could handle. Not the whining, crying kind of meltdown that can happen.

It was the hyperactive, running crazy, you kids get back over here right now, kind of treatment.

She made her way, back and forth through the aisles. My kids no doubt begged for anything eye-level that looked good to be added to the basket.

Then there were the cartwheels.

In our home, this is the cartwheel story because my kids decided to have their own gymnastics competition up and down the aisles. Who knows how many boxes were kicked down.

After filling up the cart, she came face-to-face with a mom's worst nightmare on days like this, the checkout line.

It was time to stand compressed together in a 10ft line and somehow put an end to the cartwheel competition.

After numerous failed attempts, she pushed the full shopping cart through the checkout, told a Walmart clerk she was leaving, and walked out to the car.

Once everyone was buckled, she called me with instructions. "If you want to eat dinner this week, I need you to go by Walmart on your way home, buy our groceries and bring them home." I'm pretty sure she hung up immediately after that.

I drove to the store, grabbed our groceries, and prepared some long-forgotten speech to give my kids when I arrived home.

It's funny now. That day, not so much.

Have you been there yet? You are going to have your abandon cart moments. Here’s how you can approach those days...

Lesson 1: Ask For Help

There are no medals given for doing it all yourself.

Whenever you reach a breaking point, or preferably before, ask for help.

Allowing a spouse, neighbor, friend, or family member to back you up is always a good decision.

Lesson 2: Cut Your Losses

The abandon cart moment is humbling, no doubt.

Cutting your losses means accepting that something isn't working or is headed in a worse direction. Sometimes as a parent, it's necessary.

Making a family decision to quit a team or walk out of a restaurant can be better than the alternative of seeing it through.

Lesson 3: Laugh It Off (Eventually)

Sometimes, retelling a story removes the sting and starts the repair.

Getting some distance from the abandoned cart moment always helps.

Friendships that allow you to share the chaos of raising kids are valuable and dinners, where crazy kid stories are told, can be great.

Lesson 4: Show Others Grace

There are moms in the grocery store who are barely hanging on.

There are dads driving to practice who are white-knuckling the wheel.

When you have a moment to show grace to those who are about to abandon the cart, step in. Whether it's in your own home or not.

Have you ever walked away from a moment? I'd love to hear that story if you wanted to reply and share it with me!



Energy Generating Behaviors

Sissy Goff

"EGB’s. Ever heard of them?

In the sports world, they’re called Energy Generating Behaviors.

EGB’s involve anything that generates energy or gives energy to another, such as high fives, floor slaps, chest bumps…you get the idea.

In fact, sports teams actually track EGB’s in games. One college basketball player said, EGB's are “what gets us together and makes us forget whatever happened. They lock us into the present moment and into each other so that we can come together, get a stop and get a basket.”

So, how about coming up with a few family EGB’s together?!?

Kids need every opportunity to feel cheered on and connected to the grown-ups who love them."

Power-Decade Parenting

Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.

Read more from Power-Decade Parenting
avatar

500 Fridays Newsletter - 2 min read Season: The Long Summers (1 of 11) A Volume of Words Repetition. It's how all people learn new things. Handwriting. Presenting. Cooking. Tying shoes. Throwing a ball. In families, the repetition of words matters ... a lot. They help form the thoughts and emotions that everyone carries in the back recesses of their minds. Repetition leaves life-long grooves. As a parent there will be words that you say without much intention on a frequent basis. They can be...

avatar

500 Fridays Newsletter - 2.5 min read Season: The Springtime (11 of 11) The Payoff of Doing Hard Things Am I being too soft on them?Am I being too hard on them? I questioned my approach all the time as a dad when we were doing the daily work of raising our kids. I know I worried more that I was too hard on them when they were younger and too soft on them as they grew older. But I wanted them to be ready for real life. I hoped they'd develop some grit. I prayed they would be able to withstand...

avatar

500 Fridays Newsletter - 3.5 min read Season: The Springtime (9 of 11) The Guilt The summer schedule is descending, and power-decade parents everywhere are now caught in the emotional battle. Yeah, for more time with kids, and Oh-No, for what to do with all the time with the kids. The increase in the amount of time together during the summer days brought out a lot of my head trash as a parent. I was more afraid of the things we were getting wrong than what I might be doing right with my kids....