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Family Friday Newsletter - 3 min read by: Finley Robinson

A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead

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Multi-Gen Isn't Accidental

Not long ago, my family and I boarded a plane for a family vacation. It was a 3-3 seat setup and my three kids all sat next to each other in the same row.

My wife and I were together opposite them and we did what most parents of teenagers do. We sat there and wondered what they were talking about since they were out of earshot.

Midway through the flight, after the stewardess had dropped off drinks and pretzels, I looked and noticed something unexpected. I nudged my wife to notice, she smirked and gave me her knowing look.

My kids had all gotten the same drink. Ginger Ale.

Sitting there, all lined up, were three identical cans of the exact same drink. You see, our family never drinks Ginger Ale, except on an airplane.

The reason that my kids have that as their airplane drink of choice is because it's also mine. And the reason that it's mine, is because it was my mom's too. I'm not sure, and I should probably ask, but I have a suspicion it was my grandmother's airplane go-to drink as well.

A drink on an airplane is a silly example of generational transfer, but you get the bigger point. Family legacies to the 4th and 5th generations exist and can even be intentionally designed.

The question is, should you aspire to become one, and if so how? I believe for the sake of your kids, you can and should.

Here are three strong convictions I've come to hold and believe in about building a multi-generational family:

1. Only intentional families make it to the 3rd generation.
2. Being an intentional family is a lot easier than you realize.
3. The intentional family requires young parents as the pivot.

The Practices

Here's the skinny ... as a power-decade parent YOU are key to everything. Someday, the practices you've passed on will be in your kid's hands, but right now you have the ball.

You are the bridge between the people of your past and your family in the future. If you aspire to be an intentional multi-gen family, here are 4 simple practices to adopt that we picked up along the way:

1. Make lots of small bets

• Meals
• Stories
• Chores
• Manners

The simplest way to connect the past with the present for an intentional future is to do it in small ways hundreds of times.

2. Give it more gas early on

The reason that I refer to the parenting years of 3-13 as your power-decade is because these are kid's most formative 10 years of life. If you want to shape values, beliefs, and multi-gen practices, the key is starting in this window.

Early and erratic always beats late and formal.

When you are creating an intentional muli-gen family, don't worry about the perfect system, just go for it.

3. Press in but don't force it

Multi-Gen intentional families practice it more than they preach it.

Yes, you should verbalize healthy and unhealthy historical family habits and patterns. But... doing always trumps telling when you are raising the next generation.

As your kids get older, they will push back and will even rebel against some generational practices. This is their way of testing whether they want to carry it forward in their life. That's ok.

A forced practice is never an adopted one.

4. Create time and place rhythms

• Sunday Lunch
• Saturday Donuts
• Friday Movie Nights

We did all three a different times and stages of our family.​

• Bedtime Books
• Family FaceTime
• Labor Day Reunions

Some always beats none. I learned this from some influential families we learned from, so I'll say it again ... Some always beats none.

Grandparents, parents, and kids who spend time together pass along their faith, skills, and stories. You will be amazed at what your kids will tell you they picked up one day.

That's it for this week! If you are currently part of a multi-gen intentional family, I'd love to hear what practices are working for you.

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