Family Friday Newsletter - 2 min read by: Finley Robinson

A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead

The Hard Things Pay Off

Am I being too soft on them?
Am I being too hard on them?

I questioned my approach as a dad all the time when raising my kids. At the time, I think I worried more that I was too hard on them when they were younger and too soft on them as they grew older.

But I wanted them to be ready for real life. I hoped they'd develop some grit. I prayed they would be able to withstand the trials of life. I took it on as my job as their dad.

In case you didn't realize it... my wife is the fun one in our family.

I also know, as you do, that life isn't easy. So where does that leave parents like you?

If hard things are a part of life, do you have a responsibility to equip your kids for what they will someday encounter?

Sure you can try to buff out the trials they may face or in some cases bulldoze right over them, but you're doing them a long-term disservice if you do.

So why am I sharing this today? I think it's been on my mind because last week we had to put our family dog to sleep. She was old and sick but it was still hard.

It was the first time my kids had experienced a loss of that kind and it fell into the category of a hard part of life. There are all kinds of trials, challenges, and difficulties that your kids will face someday and our family faced a new one last week.

So what is it that involved and intentional parents should be doing? I think I can best summarize our family's approach this way...

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Do Hard Things With Them

Your kids need your help with hard things. Sometimes they need you to pull them through it as you lead the way. Other times they need you to push them on ahead while you provide support.

Doing hard things with them is a must. It builds both your relationship and their character. A few hard things that we did together:

• Yard Work
• Long Hikes
• Visit the Elderly
• Teach them how to cook
• Help them repair relationships
• Give them chores and household responsibilities
• Pack up and go visit your family who lives far away

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Do Hard Things For Them

Your kids also need to see you taking on hard things in life. It's part of our privilege and burden as parents to care for our kids by dealing with the tough stuff of life.

Doing hard things for them is loving but not easy. They will be beyond thankful that you were willing to take on challenges because they will be the long-term beneficiaries from it. Some ways to do that are:

• Get out of debt
• Discipline your kids
• Spend less than you earn
• Go to marriage counseling
• Apologize when you're wrong
• Take care of your physical health
• Teach them they aren't the center of the world
• Let them experience the consequences of their mistakes

I promise that the hard things pay off. I wish there was another way, but I haven't found it. Our world has both joy and pain and we are the conduits during the formative years of our kid's lives to help them learn about it.

See you next Friday!

Finley