Family Friday Newsletter - 2.5 min read by: Finley Robinson

A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead

Bring Them Along

My wife and I have an unpopular opinion on raising kids. Ok, it's stronger than an opinion. It's more like a low-key parent conviction for us.

Here it is ... Parents shouldn't default to getting a babysitter as often as they do.

For us, this was our strongly held belief and I share it not to cast judgement or shame. It is more about a reordering of your thought process as a power-decade parent.

When it comes time to choose whether to take your kids with you or get a sitter, which do you try harder to make happen?

To Walmart
To the baby shower
To the summer wedding
To the SEC football game
To the cousins across the state
To the meal train food drop off
To the hardware store for supplies
To the hospital to visit a sick friend
To the High School basketball game

Choosing to take young kids with you, most everywhere you go, will be one of the best investments you can make in their life.

I'm not claiming that we did this 100% of the time at all, but it was the default choice we tried hard to make.

We must have been invited to a lot of weddings when our kids were younger because my memories always recall those scenarios first. It wasn't only the wedding, though, but the bridal shower my wife would attend. Then there was the trip to Target to buy the wedding present, before Amazon Prime changed the game of course.

Most of the time, we loaded up at least one, if not all, of the kids and brought them along too. It is the harder choice, but we've seen it pay off 100x.

The With You Principle

I fully expect that you might disagree with me on this, which is fine.

I also know that you could feel a sense of guilt or shame if/when you don't take your kids with you. That is not helpful at all.

Parents are making in-the-moment decisions every hour of the day about how to keep moving forward. Here is what I know to be true:

• It is 100% easier to go shopping, attend a shower, ship a package, or help a friend without a 5 & 8-year-old around.
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• It is also true that by neglecting the with you approach, your kids will miss out on 100% of the maturity that those higher friction moments create.

So, here are 6 reasons parents should embrace the with you principle:

It helps kids build social skills. Even when they are young, being in situations where they have to engage in adult moments is beneficial.

It is inconvenient, which is a good thing. Medals are not given for choosing the hardest path, but no one grows via the easy way every time.

It introduces kids to a wide variety of people. They gain by interacting with others who aren't exactly like their friends & family.

It places the family together more often. Once kids hit elementary school, families become more divided unless they pursue togetherness.

It gives everyone stories to share. Having volumes of shared experiences provides a lifetime of "do you remember when we did...?"

It forces some self-sufficiency. Being in situations that are not always 'kid-friendly' gives them reps to learn how to cope and mature.

When it comes to including and involving your kids, every family needs to make their own choices. There is after all a wide range of normal.

See You Next Friday - Finley

PS. I'd love to know any thoughts or reactions you have (good and bad!) about the "with you" principle if you want to write me back.