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Finley Robinson

Family Friday: When did you last sound like one of your parents?

published2 months ago
2 min read

Hi there, it's Finley 👋🏼 and Happy Friday.

Today's story takes 2 minutes to read.

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They are counting on YOU

How often do you catch yourself sounding like one of your own parents?

It's strange and sometimes terrifying when you utter words or phrases that you didn't know were locked somewhere in your mind.

The truth is, parents rub off on their kids.

Why? Because the choices that parents make are front and center for their kids to witness.

This week something significant happened in my house. My youngest child passed her written drivers test.

If you'd told me when our kids were sitting three wide in car seats over a decade ago that I'd be standing on this doorstep now, I would have laughed.

But it's here, and now I'm driving around a big church parking lot trying not to get carsick as my daughter learns how to accelerate and brake.

The strangest thing happened though as we were talking about the finer points of driving a car. I found myself sounding more and more like my own dad.

I love my dad and am thankful for everything he taught me.

It is still a strange phenomenon when we as parents sound like our own parents. Nothing really prepares you for those surprising moments.

Often (not always!) we share similar values and see the world somewhat the same way.

It's only natural to sound like our parents around the Christmas tree, at the ball field, on vacation or say, learning to drive a car.

Which brings me to the big idea for this Friday...

Taking care of yourself is also taking care of your kids.

This isn't a self-actualization or you do you rallying cry.

But, over time, as the years carry on, your habits, words and priorities are subtly passed on.

For many parents, this is one of their greatest fears about having kids in the first place. I don't want to be like my mom/dad with my own kids.

The truth is, parents can't help it.

Whether it's nature or nurture (or a combination like I tend to believe.) You are going to pass on something of yourself to your kids.

Why?

Because they are watching you to see who they want to become.

Because they are depending on you daily.

Because they need real life heroes.

Because they will spend more time with you up to the age of 13 than anyone else in their life.

What does that mean as a parent? It means you need to make your own personal growth a priority too.

Taking care of yourself is also taking care of your kids.

Eat right.
Go on vacation.
Find a good counselor.
Have trusted friendships.
Get serious about your vices.
Quit the social competition game.

It is fine and good to want to raise great kids but healthy children are often products of healthy parents.

It's not one more thing to add to your plate as a mom or dad.

It's the compounding choices you are making to be the kind of parent that your kids can count on.

One that knows one of the best ways to take care of them is to not neglect yourself.


Old vs New Approach

I enjoy finding dads in similar seasons. I love listening to Bill Simmons interview his daughter on his podcast and talk about Stranger Things.

I've enjoyed learning from Jon Acuff over the years as we are both sending daughters off to college next year.

He recently wrote the following ... let's embrace the NEW as moms and dads.

Old: If I share my weaknesses, people won't trust my strength.
New: If I pretend I don't have weaknesses, people won't trust my strength.


I want to say thank you for reading and sharing this each week.

I'm in the process of adding a new referral program here as a way to show my appreciation and to serve you better.

Any suggestions for what you'd like to receive as a way of saying thanks for sharing this with other parents?