Family Friday Newsletter - 2.5 min read by: Finley Robinson

My Favorite Parenting Framework 🔨

Win-COACH-Release 🎯

Bill Moore.
Ron Brewer.
Gus Malzahn.

These are the names of 3 of the best coaches I ever had during my junior high and high school days. I played a variety of sports for 15 years and had a lot of coaches, but these men stand head and shoulders above the rest.

When I think about all three of those men, they each shared several things in common.

1. I left my time on their team exponentially better than when I started.
2. They all had significantly more knowledge than I did but they continued learning to stay sharp.
3. I knew that they cared about me getting better and they used both encouragement and correction to do so.
4. They embodied the role of a coach and it became part of their identity and how I knew them.

In our sports media culture, we highlight and elevate athletic coaches into their own special category. Usually, this is because of one singular data point... their teams win.

But not every coach measured by their win-loss record. Some coaches help with weight loss. Other coaches help students get into specific schools or programs. Some coaches help with writing, speaking, or leadership.

What is true about all coaches though is that they experience their success through the success of others.

It is a partnership, one born out of proximity and purpose. The two entities come together for a period of time and an exchange takes place.

The coach provides:

• heart
• belief
• discipline
• experience
• perspective

The participant brings:

• effort
• skillset
• eagerness
• coachability

It is the coach's job to get the most out of the talent of whomever they are coaching. It is the participant's job to maximize the knowledge and plan of their coach.

You Are The Coach at Home 👏🏼

The exact same partnership takes place with parents and kids during their middle years, your power-decade of parenting years.

The problem is most of the time your kids don't want to be coached, not directly anyway. Certainly not as often as you feel like you need to.

But there are so many areas of life that kids need coaching in, especially if they're going to be released from your home one day.

Here's a quick list of 10 and it doesn't even come close to summing it up.

Grit.
Money.
Manners.
Teamwork.
Work Ethic.
Self-Control.
Basic Hygiene.
Healthy Friendships.
Personal Convictions.
Emotional Intelligence.

Coaching also looks like helping them discover their gifts, their passions, and helping them to identify their place in the world.

Your proximity as their parent means that your voice will carry on long past the time they've been released from your home.

Both you and your kids can grow weary of the coaching role you play in their life, but don't give up.

They have deep identity questions that need to be answered. In the heart of each of your children, they are asking ...

• ​Sons: "Do I have what it takes?"
• ​Daughters:"What makes me unique and valuable?"

How do you help them find these answers? Do what all great coaches do...

1. Care enough to encourage and correct.
2. Embrace your identity as a coach in their life.
3. Use your knowledge and experience to help them flourish.

Win-Coach-Release

The earliest years are marked by winning their heart. This happens when you physically spend time with them on your knees in their small world.

The middle years are shaped by coaching their heart. It happens first by listening with your ears and then by speaking encouragement and correction with your mouth.

The final years are determined by releasing their heart. When you place your faith in them and allow them to test their abilities and decisions in the real world.

​See you next Friday,
Finley