Family Friday: Siblings Can Become Friends?

Family Friday Newsletter - 3 min read

by Finley Robinson

A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead

Administering discipline to our kids in a protective and corrective way also needs to be done in a connective way.

👶🏼 Wait, You're Pregnant?

It was exactly 20 years ago this week when my wife and I found out some surprising news. It was the summer of 2004 and our oldest daughter was 6 months old at the time.

My wife walked in with a baby in one hand and a positive pregnancy test in the other. I couldn't believe it.

We weren't trying to get pregnant, but little did we know she was already 2 months along with our son. We had 7 months to prepare. By February we'd had 2 kids in the last 13.5 months and we were overwhelmed.

Life was super hard for those next two years.

I may have looked my wife in the eyes when our son turned 2 and said, "The last couple of years have felt like you hate me." She did not, but that was the emotional toll it had all taken on both of us.

In the face of our early parenting challenge and struggle, we made a family commitment. We decided to make an intentional effort for one specific outcome we wanted for them.

We wanted to do everything in our power to make sure our kids were friends when they grew up.

My wife and I have both been blessed to be close to our siblings throughout the years and we still are as adults today. I don't think it's an accident.

I know not everyone has a positive relationship with their brothers & sisters as adults. For many, there are good and valid reasons.

But as power-decade parents, I believe that you have a life changing opportunity. Making a strong effort to promote friendship between your kids will change your entire family forever.

7️⃣ Truths of Sibling Friendship

Summers are hard.
Summers seem endless.
Summers test your patience.
Summers create sibling conflict.

Keeping a vision and purpose for the hours of family time helps to stay on your parenting course. In the teenage years and beyond you will be so glad you made the effort to promote sibling friendship.

Why is friendship among siblings so important? I'm going to give you 7 quick reasons:

Kids practice building relationships with each other first before they make friends outside the home.
They are forced to learn how to forgive and repair a relationship when it is broken, a skill they will always need.
If they are close in age, when they are in high school they will have someone who uniquely understands the challenges they are facing.
Having a trusted sibling to celebrate your success and comfort you in your failures does wonders for their mental and emotional state.
When you are old as a parent and the kids are making decisions about taking care of you, it's a lot better if they are still close
Having a built-in friend with the same values, because they came from the same home, is more valuable with each passing year.
When they are grown and gone, you will see them much more often if they are close and like to see each other.

🙌🏼 Create Sibling Friendships

So what did we learn and suggest you do if you want your kids to be lifelong friends?

First, talk about it directly and tell them as a parent you want them to be friends when they grow up.

We told our kids often that we wanted them to be friends with each other. Our two oldest kids who are barely over a year apart in age are now best friends.

When my daughter comes home from work or a friend's house she usually goes to find her brother right away to talk. They used to fight over toys and shows and the best seat in the car. Now they share funny TikTok's and borrow each other sweatshirts.

We told them directly when they were 3, 6, 9, 12, and 15 they would be friends one day and today they are.

Second, take time and stop long enough throughout the week to teach your kids what it means to be a good friend.

There are so many things to teach our kids along the way, but being a friend can be overlooked. It's not about behavior adjustments so that you have a peaceful house.

The vision is to build relationship skills and connections between your kids with each other. One day when you catch them talking together about you behind your back you'll know they've built that special relationship. It's worth it.

Big Idea: Promoting sibling friendship will build them as individuals and change your family forever.

Are you still friends with your brothers and sisters as adults? If so, I'd love to hear about how or why that happened in your family.

🇺🇸 Off Next Week

Small heads up for you. I won't be sending you an email next Friday as I plan to be with some friends and family over the July 4th long weekend. Let's be honest, you're probably not going to be checking your inbox next weekend either.

See you in two weeks,
Finley

The 3-Part Family Framework

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Power-Decade Parenting