On Christmas day this year, our family had a Clark Griswold moment. We enjoyed a bit of nostalgia when I grabbed the old video camera and watched some early-stage home movies.
The big kids were 2 & 3 years old. Everyone in the living room smiled, ooed, and laughed as we re-watched the chaos of our young family.
When kids are little, life is full of piles: toys, clothes, and bodies too. Wrestling on the floor and dog-piling on the bed.
I have vague memories of those days, full of piles, but it was good to see it through the grainy replay of a miniDV tape.
The early years of kids have a high level of family proximity. You are physically close to each other and together a lot! So much so that my wife and I would often disappear, without warning, into our own house for some time away.
This happened during the first half of our power-decade of parenting. Something begins to happen in the second half though, and it increases even more once you have a home full of teenagers.
Everyone separates into their own corners of life. Family proximity evaporates as separate sports, schedules, and different interests emerge. If you have kids under 10, I'm sure you'd love fewer bodies around you at all times. Later on, you'll have to work hard to be close together.
Something my wife and I learned, as our kids approached double digits, was that we needed to re-create piling together. The secret was not letting our kids know that it was on purpose.
This was a loose approach that we used in our home. As more and more of our time went to individual opportunities, we needed to re-create family proximity situations.
What that looked like was getting the whole family within 20 feet of each other. Yes, there are meal times and I believe they are the best and lowest-hanging fruit but there are other ways to get the family within 20 feet. Here are a few of our favorites:
The 20-Foot Rule was our approach to remaking those early years of family proximity. We often didn't have a real agenda. As our kids got a little older, putting everyone within arms reach of each other, usually produced that reconnection that we all needed.
So as your kids grow up, find your favorite ways to pile back together. There are so many sweet and simple outcomes when you do.
Laugh.
Snuggle.
Compete.
Tell stories.
Ask fun questions.
Talk about your past.
Dream about the future.
See you next Friday,
Finley
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Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
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