Hi there, it's Finley 👋🏼

Happy Friday to 198 parents this week.

Can we see 200 next Friday? We will if you share this with 1 other parent!

Today's story takes 2 minute to read.

Don't Build Them All at Once

Focus is a gift that has significant compounding affects.

Taking one kid shopping is a lot easier than taking them all. Fewer distractions.

When you are potty training, your focus goes to that particular ability for the better part of a few weeks. You let other things go.

I got overwhelmed and out of line trying to teach and direct my kids in too many areas at once.

Once I realized that each stage could have a particular focus, my wife and I felt more confident we could let certain issues go and not feel guilty.

Here is a general summary of our priorities over 15 years.

I think it's a good list, but it doesn't have to be yours (and it can change).

The important thing, is that you have a focus for each of your kids & seasons.

You'll be a better parent and your kids will feel relieved that every area isn't weighty all the time.

Here is the where & when of the Robinson Family's Focus:

• 3-5 bonding & obedience: This is the foundation upon which your parenting voice will grow. Building connections to their heart and teaching them why obedience matters is where to start.
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• 6-8 small ownerships & individualization: They are craving some independence and you need to find small ways to give it to them. Learn how each child is unique in their own way.
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• 9-11 family experiences & friendships: Spend time in everyday ways (and occasionally big ways) to create lasting family memories. Teach them the importance of their friend choices and how to be the right kind of friend.
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• 12-14 gratitude & convictions: It only get tougher now, but as entitlement & selfishness grow, you have to combat it with gratitude. Talk about the necessity of having an established belief system.
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• 15-18 work ethic & empathy: They are entering in to a broken world. Empathy goes a long way to dealing with the pain they will see in others. Prepare them to be self-starters.

Whatever season you are in, I believe you are better off if you'll focus for a long while on a couple things.

Mom. Dad. You have plenty of time. Don't build them all at once.

Focus is your friend and theirs too.

Big Questions Your Kids are Asking

​Reggie Joiner​

• 0-1 ... am I safe?
• 1-2 ... am I able?
• 3-4 ... am I ok?
• K-1st ... do I have your attention?
• 2nd - 3rd ... do I have what it takes?
• 4th - 5th ... do I have friends?
• 6th ... who do I like?
• 7th - 8th ... who am I?
• 9th ... where do I belong?
• 10th ... what do I believe?
• 11th ... how can I matter?
• 12th ... what will I do?

That's all for today's writing of Parenting: what we've learned (so far)

If any of this was engaging or you had a small take away,
it always helps when parents share with others.

​Here is a link to this page on the web you could copy & share​