Family Friday: The Half-Whole Mentality



Family Friday Newsletter - 2 min read

by: Finley Robinson


A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead

If the first decade of parenting felt more like survival, the second has felt like an arrival.

The Half-Whole

Family-isms are special and unique trademarks that exist in each home.

They show up as sayings, traditions, meals, and practices. People outside the family don't easily understand them but everyone inside gets it.

Mine eats Pig Sandwiches.
We have reunions at Lake Norfolk.
A current group text is titled Pirate Life.
And we also cut our apples into Half-Wholes.

What's a half-whole? Well, it's the way that my mom used to cut apples for my sister when she packed her lunch years ago.

It's just an apple cut in half and then a divot is cut out of the middle of each side where the seeds were.

But it's not a whole apple at all. It's two halves, except each half is kept intact as a whole.

So we called it a half-whole. It's a funny family-ism for us because there is, after all, a difference between a half and a whole.

If you put a half stick of butter into a recipe instead of a whole stick, the cookies won't turn out the same.

When your son or daughter cleans up half of their room instead of their whole room, they get in trouble.

On the other hand, something we learned as a family is that half-credit can qualify as a whole.

The Mentality

Half-credit isn't easy for every parent's personality type and does demand a willingness to allow grace to enter your home.

But your season of parenting is full of halves.

Half of a show watched before bedtime.
Half of a Sprite can sitting on the counter.
Half of the chores complete on a Saturday.
Half of the shinguards you need for practice.
Half of a book read to them before you fall asleep.
Half of a sandwich still in the lunch box after school.

But here's the mentality I struggled with and now realize was wrong at your stage.

Something only counts if the whole plan goes through.

I took my family camping once and had huge goals for a massive adventure. During our hike, I kept our family moving at a fast pace to get to the waterfall destination. Long after they asked to turn back I kept us going. I wanted the whole thing or nothing.

Turns out, it was the only time we went camping. I couldn't settle for half and burned everyone out with my poor mentality.

In the Power-Decade, half-credit is so much better than none at all.

If two bike laps around the neighborhood with your daughter is normal but you only have time for one, you should still go.

If you can't finish a whole chapter you're reading to your son, read half.

It's not about the laps or the chapters. It's only about showing up with them.

Your kids need you to show up. Sure they count the laps and the pages, but do you know why? Because that means more time with you.

1 chapter means more time next to Mom.
2 laps converge into more time with Dad.

Kids count only because it means half as much time with their favorite people on the planet. You're the ones who provide predictable rhythms and wonder moments for them.

Again, it's not about the laps or the chapters. It's about showing up.

When you show up, even for half-credit, you are getting the whole effect of being a parent.

The Half-Whole Mentality is something that it took me a very long time to learn but was freeing when I finally realized its power.


The 3-Part Family Framework

When you share your unique referral link below with 1 friend, I'll immediately send you a 5-minute read that will give you a framework, vision, and strategy to help you build a home you love for a lifetime.

[RH_REFLINK GOES HERE]

PS: You have referred [RH_TOTREF GOES HERE] people so far 😉

Power-Decade Parenting

Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.

Read more from Power-Decade Parenting
avatar

500 Fridays Newsletter - 2 min read Season: The Cold Days (11 of 12) A "Figure It Out" Family Our kids heard me say it in our home more times than I can count…. you go figure it out. It was used less when they were little, but with each year they grew older, they heard it more and more. I know they grew tired of it, and I'm certain I said it with the wrong tone many, many times. That doesn't mean it wasn't one of the most important and staple phrases in our family, though. Have you ever...

avatar

500 Fridays Newsletter - 2 min read Season: The Cold Days (10 of 12) If there's one emotion that parents don't need more of while in their power-decade season, it's shame. The feeling of pain or guilt that emerges when mom or dad realizes their family isn't measuring up. I felt it on many occasions and I reckon you have too. I remember taking my kids to the entrance of certain rides at Disney when they were little. We walked up to the board only to discover they were a few inches short of the...

avatar

500 Fridays Newsletter - 3 min read Season: The Cold Days (9 of 12) The Cartwheel Story Today, it is a rare sight to see a mom shopping with all of her kids hanging off the grocery cart. It doesn't happen as often today as it used to thanks to Walmart Grocery Pickup. Now, moms have been taking their kids to buy groceries forever, but some shopping sessions truly stand out. We have a family story from when our kids were 3, 6, and 7 that took the prize for us. A little background on the kinds...