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Family Friday Newsletter - 3.5 min read by Finley Robinson

Welcome 👋🏼 to some new readers this Friday!

I believe milestones are worth mentioning and because we have a few new parents this week, this newsletter has officially crossed the 5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ reader mark!

My goal is to help you amplify your power-decade of parenting so that your kids will have a home they love for a lifetime. You can always read more here.​

The Summer Days Require Grace

I don't know if you and I share a similar trait or not, but we might.

Sadly, I've often been more afraid as a parent about the things that I'm getting wrong than what I might be doing right with my kids.

Are they a good friend or are they mean?
Are they being truthful or are they a liar?
Are they respectful towards other adults?
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Will they grow up with a good work ethic?
Will they know how to stand up for themselves?
Will they wind up with all of my worst attributes?

I know that I shouldn't operate this way, but I'll admit that I internalize my kid's behaviors and choices as a reflection of my role as a dad. I've been working on it for years.

It is one of the easiest parent pitfalls we face and will trap you if you aren't careful.

When my oldest daughter didn't try hard enough on the soccer field, I took it personally and remember letting her have it. She was only 6. 😞

When we dragged my son kicking and screaming from the playground, I recall being embarrassed as other parents watched on. 🥴

When my youngest daughter refused to eat her dinner in front of our family, I felt a sense of failure, even though my mom says I did it too. 😐

Raising kids, especially in the 3-13 season you are in, there are endless moments where you need to experience or give grace.

Here's the truth about your everyday life right now:

• Days are long and nights are short.
• Drops and spills happen all the time.
• Temper tantrums occur in kids & parents.
• The majority of your time is spent in a hurry.

As I approach 2 decades of being a dad, the more I regret not practicing grace often enough at home. Here's what we learned through the struggle of it all:

Grace-filled homes don't rely on fear or shame to motivate.

Grace-filled homes leave room for imperfect and never finished.

Grace-filled homes recognize that individual growth can take years.

Grace-filled homes are not parent or child-centric but share the spotlight.

Grace-filled homes don't ignore discipline but do it in a way that facilitates learning and change instead of retaliation.

If you need a visual to think about how grace is applied in your home, I suggest you grab the four-legged stool, tucked underneath your kitchen counter.

Think of practicing it like this:

There are 4 types of relationships in most homes where giving grace can be transformational for your family.

Leg 1: Grace To Your Kids

It looks different in every season of their lives...

• Spending extra time with your kids at bedtime is an act of grace.
• Letting them choose their own mismatched clothes to experience some independence is an act of grace.
• Extra screen time in the long summer or cold winter is an act of grace.
• Choosing to be clear and kind, even when it's all melting down is an act of grace.

Leg 2: Grace For Yourself

Every season is a brand new one as a parent, which is normal...

• Give grace because no one is keeping tabs on your performance or your ability to get it all right, except maybe your mother-in-law. 😉
• Don't expect to be able to extend grace to your kids, if you can't show it to yourself.
• Parents lose their cool often, and when you do, here is helpful way to recover from it.

Leg 3: Grace Between Siblings

Let's just say this one is difficult, but ...

• Putting in a plan to rotate the best seat in the car helps your kids experience grace towards each other.
• Facilitating times when your kids can make memories together brings grace into your home.
• When they get into a fight, slowly teaching them apologize and repair the relationship practices grace.

Leg 4: Grace With Your Spouse

This is likely the toughest of them all, but you can ...

• Choose to be on the same team and overlook small offenses.
• Give grace to each other to model to your kids what it looks like for imperfect adults to love each other.
• Graciously carry the extra for a short period of time so that combined you are at 100% capacity. (Thanks Brené Brown)

In Summary

Without one of the 4-Legs of Grace, your home will get wobbly fast.

But a family that habitually practices giving grace, makes it possible to have:

• freedom to belong
• freedom to be candid
• freedom to be different
• freedom to be vulnerable
• freedom to make mistakes

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