A Single Sentence from a Season AheadParenting is a team sport, so make sure you surround your kids with great people.
The Hard Things Pay OffAm I being too soft on them? Am I being too hard on them? I questioned my approach all the time as a dad when we were doing the daily work of raising our kids. I know I worried more that I was too hard on them when they were younger and too soft on them as they grew older. But I wanted them to be ready for real life. I hoped they'd develop some grit. I prayed they would be able to withstand the trials of life. I took it on as my job as their dad. In case you didn't realize it... my wife is the fun one in our family. I also know, as you do, that life isn't easy. So where does that leave parents like you? If hard things are a part of life, do you have a responsibility to equip your kids for what they will encounter someday? Absolutely you do. Sure you can try to buff out the trials they may face or in some cases bulldoze right over them, but you're doing them a long-term disservice if you do. Nothing brings out a host of challenges like the family pet or in our case, pets. Getting a new puppy is fun but hard. Daily walks, scooping poop and teaching young kids how to be responsible for the pet is good... but hard. When we had to put our first dog down it was heartbreaking. She was old and sick but it was still hard. It was the first time my kids had experienced a loss of that kind and it fell into the category of a hard part of life. There are all kinds of trials, challenges, and difficulties that your kids will face someday. So what is it that involved and intentional parents should be doing? I think I can best summarize our family's approach this way... As parents, do hard things with & for your kids. Do Hard Things With ThemYour kids need your help with hard things. Sometimes they need you to pull them through it as you lead the way. Other times they need you to push them on ahead while you provide support. Doing hard things with them is a must. It builds both your relationship and their character. A few hard things that we did together:
Do Hard Things For ThemYour kids also need to see you taking on hard things in life. It's part of our privilege and burden as parents to care for our kids by dealing with the tough stuff of life. Doing hard things for them is loving but not easy. They will be beyond thankful that you were willing to take on challenges because they will be the long-term beneficiaries from it. Some ways to do that are:
I promise that the hard things pay off. I wish there was another way, but I haven't found it. Our world has both joy and pain and we are the conduits during the formative years of our kid's lives to help them learn about it. See you next Friday! |
Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
Family Friday Newsletter - 4 min read by: Finley Robinson A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead Your kids need help with hard things; sometimes you do things with them and sometimes you do things for them. Between Generations Trips, Vacations, and Visits… When I was young, my family traveled across the state every summer to visit my parents hometown in the Delta. My parents were high school sweethearts and so I had two sets of grandparents in the same small Arkansas town. Every visit required...
Family Friday Newsletter - 2 min read by: Finley Robinson A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead Repeated powerful words carry enormous weight during the power-decade of parenting. The Habit of Helping There is a very specific noise that I hear occasionally in my house. Imagine what a tornado would sound like, except it comes from inside the house instead of outside. The sound combination is part human and part industrial. It is a mixture of grunting and slight-slamming. We call it...
Family Friday Newsletter - 3.5 min read by: Finley Robinson A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead Showing up as a parent, even for half-credit, secretly gets the whole effect you were hoping for. Build Their Confidence At various times during our power-decade of parenting, my wife or I said one of the following statements to our kids. Somewhere between 3-13, our kids heard us say these and dozens of other statements a lot like it... "Hey, sweetie, I want you to go to the window and order the...