Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
Family Friday: Uphill vs Downhill Parenting
A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead
Twenty years ago, as a young father, I copied down these 6 Power Phrases that every kid needs to hear from their parent.
Downhill vs UphillSomewhere around the time when each of my kids turned 5, my wife and I blocked off a few hours on a sunny weekend and attempted to teach our kids how to ride a bike. We went to a part of the Razorback Greenway near our house and I ran alongside them while they tried to learn how to balance without training wheels. When those same kids were around the age of 14-15, I attempted to teach each of them how to drive a manual transmission car. We found an open parking lot and I walked them through the process of letting off the clutch and easing onto the gas of my Honda. I was successful in teaching them how to ride a bicycle 🚴 When you teach kids how to ride a bike or drive a manual transmission (not that your kids will ever experience that!) there is one special strategy that is the difference between success and failure... make sure to point the wheels slightly downhill. Gravity and momentum are your friends. Uphill is much much harder on both. There is a direct correlation to your power-decade of parenting also. The majority of the time as a mom or dad the feeling you have is that you are working uphill. Parenting is hard work and sometimes you need a little downhill help from gravity. Between birth and graduation, the ages of 3-13 are the most opportunistic years you have with your kids. From the questions they will ask, to the volume of time spent together, to the transitions they make, this decade is so powerful and full of lifelong family potential, but it's uphill work. Uphill ResponsibilitiesHere is what we discovered about your season of parenting. When I say uphill responsibilities, I don't mean the daily duties of running a family. Yes, you have to do laundry, pay bills, and shop for groceries. Uphill parenting means investing emotional and physical energy into your kids. You are pushing, pulling, correcting, and corralling on a regular basis. It takes many forms, but it's the uphill work that changes your kids over time. There is a transfer of knowledge, character, skills, and passion from you as a parent to your kids. This is the Uphill ...
If you neglect uphill responsibilities, your kids won't have the character, skills, and care they need to flourish and grow. But does anyone have the stamina for such an uphill climb? Truthfully... no one does. That's why you have to point your wheels downhill sometimes and let gravity (ie. the small joys of being a mom or dad) carry you along. Downhill RealitiesWhen I stop today and think back to my years of raising young kids, my memories are more full of joy than pain now. When you are doing daily uphill work like you are though, you need some downhill momentum. These are the parenting moments that keep morale, connection, and joy up in the home. They help you pick up a little momentum to head back uphill.
Not all uphill work is created equal. I loved coaching my kid's soccer teams, but it was still an energy loss. In the same way, trips were memorable but my wife and I needed a vacation after our vacation. It's the downhill moments that can generate a little speed needed to tackle your uphill responsibilities. When you feel like all you've been doing as a parent is trudging uphill, that's your sign to stop and have more fun with your kids. Healthy families have plenty of both over time. Hope you have a great Easter Weekend. - Finley |
Power-Decade Parenting
Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
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