Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
Family Friday: We Didn't "Cherish Every Season"
A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead
If it's not uncomfortable for you both at times, then you need to show some more tough love to your kids.
We Didn't "Cherish Every Season"If there's one emotion that parents don't need more of while in their power-decade season, it's shame. The feeling of pain or guilt that emerges when mom or dad realizes their family isn't measuring up. I felt it on many occasions and I reckon you have too. I remember taking my kids to the entrance of certain rides at Disney when they were little. We walked up to the board only to discover they were a few inches short of the required minimum height. The look on their face was impossible to bear. So much disappointment when they were told they couldn't experience the fun of the ride. That same look of disappointment shows up on young parents' faces all the time and it happens when they hear this three-word-phrase... "Cherish Every Season" I hated hearing those instructions from older parents. Why? Because if you're honest about whatever season you're currently in, there is plenty of hard that you won't ever cherish. Teething is hard. Picky eaters are hard. Learning multiplication is hard. Cliques are hard. Dinner every night is hard. Telling us to "cherish every season" is advice we received that never sat well with me and I've never passed along to others either. It's an attempt to communicate that the parent misses the best parts of the specific season you're in. What that phrase does instead is minimize the hard parts of your season and induce shame. That's how the cycle is repeated over and over again. Instead of being honest about the hard and appreciating each season's sweetness, parents are told they don't measure up if they can't cherish every season. Don't Suffer In ShameThere are things I miss about having little kids running around my house. There are also a lot of hard realities that I'm thankful are behind me too. What is the better way forward that keeps shame on the sidelines? Be as present as you can in each season with your kids. Smash cakes are special. After bath snuggles are wonderful. The first soccer goal scored is beautiful. Campfire s'mores are delicious. The first sleepover is lovely chaos. Doing their own laundry is magnificent. Talent shows are enchanting. Big Idea: Don't let shame take over when you don't love everything about your current season of parenting.
See You Next Friday - Finley |
Power-Decade Parenting
Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
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