Hi there, it's Finley 👋🏼 and Happy Friday.
Today's story takes 3 minutes to read.
Look Back: The challenge of dealing with your parents as a parent.
Who will they become?
Here are some truths that are crazy about your season of parenting:
- There is an equal amount of time from birth till they can buckle their own car seat as the time they will spend attending high school.
- Kids can be at a certain age to both make fun of you for being old and still be afraid of the dark.
- Some kids can't figure out how to pack their own lunch but they want your money and to be dropped off at the movie theatre.
There is a lot of tension that you feel daily as a parent. I know I sure do.
Sometimes you just need someone to talk you off the ledge. Thankfully, I had a lot of people do that for me.
I've witnessed that when parents of young kids get together, it can be full of a lot of moaning and groaning. It's not without warrant though. There are a lot of tough moments that you stare down.
It can become the common practice to complain about all the issues you are facing. Don't get me wrong, I need a good vent session as a dad.
But my goal every Friday has been to hold 2 things in tension for you...
I was listening to a podcast this week and when the author shared his definition of bravery, I felt compelled to pass it along. He said...
Bravery is motion despite emotion.
It is action despite apprehension.
It is a willingness to move forward without knowledge of the finish line.
This Friday, I want to give you some hope and strength as a mom or dad to be brave. Why? Because I know you need it.
But also, from my vantage point, I can tell you something about your kids that you don't know yet...
Who they become will blow your mind,
and it happens sooner than you think.
This week I got to watch my 14-year-old daughter command a room. We were asked to share about teen cell phone culture with a living room of adults she'd never met.
You know what? By the end of the night, she had stolen the show. They were hanging on her every word.
In the moment, they complimented her poise and ability to articulate a clear thought. She was real and authentic.
She was able to help those parents understand what it's like to wrestle with social media and smartphone culture today as a teenager.
I knew she had it in her, but to be able to witness it from the chair next to her was a true delight.
Now, she's only 14 years old and has a lot of messes ahead of her BUT she's only 14, and I couldn't believe my little girl was that mature already.
It's all about how you choose to look at it from your perspective as a parent.
So, how would I encourage you to be a brave mom or dad moving forward? These three things should help:
1. The current state of your kids is completely unfinished.
Not seeing the finish line (not that there ever really is one) in your season is ok. You might be just starting with your first child or have several kids daily crammed into the minivan.
Being brave to say in the regular rhythms of your life will produce good outcomes.
2. The reality of your stage of parenting can be defeating.
I was talking to a friend with 3 young boys recently and she mentioned how many times a day she says the word "no" vs "yes."
I'm sure it feels like it's 100:1 for you most of the time too.
That's normal but it's also not your forever reality. As your kids mature, saying yes is so satisfying and you will get more opportunities someday.
Be brave to discern when to say both no and yes as often as it takes.
3. The future is better (but probably harder) than you think.
The truth is, I miss the smell of my kids after a bath. If I were to find one of their favorite board books somewhere on the shelf, I might stop and read it so I could remember those days.
I miss feeding our family for $16 at Chick-fil-a instead of the $50 it costs now. But I also love knowing more of who they are and watching the friendship they have together.
Parenting is the ultimate "grass is always greener" endeavor, so don't ignore tending to your own yard today.
Be brave and engaged now, when they are young, and believe in their future in who they will become.
You have in your hands the most impactful years you will ever have.
Stay the course because someday, in the not-to-distance future, they will blow your minds with who they turn out to be.
Question for you: In what part of parenting are you most struggling to be brave right now? Please write me back and share what it is!
“Not all of the wrong your children do is a direct rebellion to authority; much of the wrong is the result of a lack of character.
The foolishness inside your children is more dangerous to them than the temptation outside of them. Only God’s grace has the power to rescue fools.”