Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
Family Friday: Your Most Important Job By Far
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A Single Sentence from a Season AheadBuild The ConnectionThe teenage season of parenting gets a ton of bad press. My wife and I were told several narratives by others that proved false in our family. After our power-decade season of parenting had wrapped up, we expected something different, but were surprised by the teenage years.
On the other side of your power-decade years, there is a new season for sure, but it's built on the foundation you build today. The entire future you have with your kids is shaped by the practices in your home today. Here is my deepest parenting conviction: connecting with your child's heart is your most important job. So this begs the question: How does that happen today so that you have a good relationship with them when they are teenagers and beyond? The Do's & Don'tsIt is so easy as a parent to spend the majority of your time living above the emotional needs of your kids. But again, connecting with your child's heart is your most important job. They need you to understand them more than to serve them. How does this happen consistently? 1. First, you have to slow down. Heart connections never happen at speed. Train cars, space shuttles, and cruise ships don't dock at 100mph. If you are a high-speed family like ours, it can be challenging and unnatural. You might feel like you are wasting time or falling behind. But remember, kids in your season don't want life to go by at a rapid pace. They want to feel safe and secure more than anything else. 2. Second, listen and learn their unique ways of connecting with you. My oldest daughter is super active today and our most social. When she was little, she wanted to go wherever we did. Shopping, to a party, out to eat. It didn't matter what we did. She just never wanted to be alone. My son is our most fun-loving. He wanted parks and games on the trampoline and Lego Star Wars on the Wii as a way to be with us. To this day, he's the glue that connects us all as a family. My youngest daughter is creative and caring. As our third child, she wanted individual time because she rarely got it. Reading a book in bed or getting ice cream with only her was how she felt loved and listened to by us. 3. Third, look for ways to be real and vulnerable with them from an early age. We all know as adults that life is challenging and hard at times. Share your struggles with your kids. If you had a hard day at work, let them know. Don't use it as an excuse to disengage, but rather as an opportunity to connect with them. If something has hurt you or made you sad, tell them why. Create a culture of openness by sharing emotions in your family, and I promise you that this practice will remain through the teenage years and beyond. Young kids view their parents as finished products. Remind them we are still very much a work in progress. Slow down. Connecting with your child's heart is your most important job. It pays the biggest dividends year after year in your relationship with them. It also gives you the best chance that they will still love home when they leave one day. See you next Friday, |
Power-Decade Parenting
Helping propel moms & dads of 3 to 13 year-olds to invest in their power-decade of parenting. Father of 3 teenagers and pastor of 20 years turned digital writer.
Family Friday Newsletter - 4 min read by: Finley Robinson A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead Your kids need help with hard things; sometimes you do things with them and sometimes you do things for them. Between Generations Trips, Vacations, and Visits… When I was young, my family traveled across the state every summer to visit my parents hometown in the Delta. My parents were high school sweethearts and so I had two sets of grandparents in the same small Arkansas town. Every visit required...
Family Friday Newsletter - 2 min read by: Finley Robinson A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead Repeated powerful words carry enormous weight during the power-decade of parenting. The Habit of Helping There is a very specific noise that I hear occasionally in my house. Imagine what a tornado would sound like, except it comes from inside the house instead of outside. The sound combination is part human and part industrial. It is a mixture of grunting and slight-slamming. We call it...
Family Friday Newsletter - 3.5 min read by: Finley Robinson A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead Showing up as a parent, even for half-credit, secretly gets the whole effect you were hoping for. Build Their Confidence At various times during our power-decade of parenting, my wife or I said one of the following statements to our kids. Somewhere between 3-13, our kids heard us say these and dozens of other statements a lot like it... "Hey, sweetie, I want you to go to the window and order the...