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Family Friday Newsletter - 4 min read by Finley Robinson ​ What current parent challenges are you facing? As I look into the next few months of this newsletter, I want to be a good listener to you, the parents. I'd love your reply! Will you email me back with any challenges/fears you currently have or anticipate having in your season of parenting? There is nothing too big or small to share, I promise!

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Fun Lasts Forever

Occasionally my wife and I find ourselves glancing at each other with a look of astonishment.

We are sitting around our kitchen island as a family of 5, holding a plate of food, and our kids are telling hilarious old stories. They are usually poking fun at each other, revealing a secret they've kept hidden from us for years, or talking about a favorite past memory.

Those are the moments that I hoped and prayed would be a part of my life one day ever since my kids were little.

I wanted to be a family with stories.
I hoped that we would be able to recall them.
I dreamed we'd forget the fights and remember the fun.

I can honestly say, those laugh-filled meals as my wife and I glance and smile at each other are the absolute best.

So how does a family get there? After all, there's no guarantee you will.

But, what investment now helps make that possible in the future? To ask it another way...

The answer is, you have fun together.

There is no greater bonding agent from parents to kids in your stage than fun. It allows you to connect with your kids in the most meaningful way to them.

Parents bear the daily weight of adult responsibilities.

Kids enjoy the freedom that comes from an age consumed with fun.

When my family and I have one of those storytelling nights, I've listened to the kinds of memories my kids share. What I've discovered is that there are three different kinds of fun experiences they remember.

1. Small or silly moments.
2. Medium or special efforts.
3. Big or significant family trips.

Here is the sneaky secret. Most parents grossly overvalue number 3.

As an adult, you get a few weeks of vacation a year to amp things up. But kids, they are looking for fun moments every day and every weekend.

So, in order to connect on a meaningful level with your kids and become a "remember when we..." family let's push for all three levels of fun in your home.

Level 1: The Small Moments

My kids tell a story about a game I made up when they were little that I had forgotten. I would crawl up to the top bunk (because we made our daughters share a room) and put stuffed animals on the ceiling fan blades.

Each kid would get to choose an animal they thought would "win" staying on the longest when we turned the fan on. Eventually, the animals would go flying across the room, often hitting someone in the face or knocking something over.

The laughs were worth every trip up to the top bunk to reset the stuffed animals and the game never lasted more than 10-15 minutes. Small Moments.

It's snow cones and sprinklers.
It's forts of blankets and swing sets.
It's silly voices reading stories at bedtime.

Don't buy into the idea that you are not a fun parent. Get rid of the scale.

Small moments that bring a smile to your son or daughter's face create fun memories that truly last forever.

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Level 2: The Medium Efforts

This kind of fun requires more planning and can induce a bit more testing of your patience. But, you'll have so many more "Oh yeah! I remember that!" fun moments with your kids.

It is the family bike ride to dinner.

It is the day spent out on the water playing together.

It is cooking for 10 so that your best-friend family can come for dinner.

These moments are the easiest to pass up. They aren't built into life as well and they don't feel as significant as a big trip.

Truthfully, I believe they are the best bang for your buck. Spending 3-36 hours focused on fun for your kids keeps a family connected well.

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Level 3: The Big Family Trips

There is a love-hate relationship most families have when creating these types of fun memories with their kids.

In fact, at your stage of parenting, it's helpful to understand the difference between a Trip vs. Vacation.

The expectations rise when you take a week off of work. You can also feel like you are making up for lost time with your kids.

Internally, you expect them to love every moment and come home praising you as the GOAT parent because of all the fun they had.

Here's a bit of what we learned about the big trips in your stage:

• Lower the expectations for family harmony and you'll be happier.
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• Don't compete for the latest and great trip with your friends. Also, don't go into debt for a vacation. It's never worth it.
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• You are moving your life from your home zipcode to your trip zipcode. The difference is you get to be more present as a parent.
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• A slower trip with a couple of big moments is better than an all-out trip that is crammed too the max.
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• You still have plenty of time to create big experiences with your kids! The camping weekends, ski vacations, and beach trips happen over time, so you're smart to keep your big trips age appropriate.
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That's it for this Family Friday Newsletter!

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PS. Thanks for emailing me back with any challenges/fears you currently have or anticipate having in your season of parenting.

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