500 Fridays Newsletter - 2 min read Season: The Cold Days (2 of 12)

One Piece At A Time

One of the biggest challenges of power-decade parenting is that your life is pulled in a thousand different directions.

Being intentional to build connection and character with your kids can feel like a losing effort. The ability to focus on one child at a time seems as impossible as wrangling your squirming toddler to get their diaper on.

In my early parenting days, I got overwhelmed and in my own head trying to shape and teach my kids in too many areas at once. Once I realized that each stage could have a particular focus, my wife and I felt more confident we could let certain issues go.

The freedom to be released from "we aren't doing enough" was amazing.

Focused Priorities

Here is a general summary of our priorities over 15 years. I think it's a good list, but it doesn't have to be yours (and it can change).

The win is having an area of focus for each of your kid's life seasons. You'll be a better parent and your kids will feel relieved that every area isn't as weighty all the time.

Here is the where & when of the Robinson Family's focus over the years:

• 3-5 bonding & obedience: This is the foundation on which your voice & family will grow. Building connections to their heart and teaching them why obedience matters is where to start.
  ​
• 6-8 small ownerships & individual discovery: They are craving some independence and you need to find small ways to give it to them. Learn how each child is unique and wired.
  ​
• 9-11 family experiences & other friendships: Spend time in everyday ways (and sometimes big ways too.) Create lasting family memories and chase adventure. Teach them the importance of their friend choices and how to be the right kind of friend.
  ​
• 12-14 gratitude & convictions: It only gets tougher now, but as entitlement & selfishness grow, you have to combat it with gratitude. Embed in them the power of their family name.
  ​
• 15-18 work ethic & empathy: They are entering into a broken world. Empathy goes a long way to dealing with the pain they will see in others. Prepare them to be self-starters.​

Big Questions Each Year

Another way to focus your effort as a parent is by looking for ways to answer the question each child is naturally asking. I picked up this list some years back and it has held true throughout all our seasons of family. ​

Whatever stage your kids are in, free yourself up by focusing on a couple of important connection points. You have plenty of time.

See you next Friday,
Finley

500 Fridays ... book coming soon ​ Stories & Strategies To Help Parents of 3-13 Year Olds Make A Decade Count