Family Friday Newsletter - 2.5 min read by: Finley Robinson

A Single Sentence from a Season Ahead

The Adult vs Kids Table

The holiday season always has a lot of family togetherness, sometimes too much even. The pictures, presents, and meals are abundant. So too are the family memories and sometimes the family fights.

One of the unique situations for power-decade parents during the holidays, though, is the big family meal where the adults sit at one table and the kids sit at another. The little cousins sit together and eat their plates of sliced meat, rolls, mac-n-cheese, and mashed potatoes.

Today you are in the "kid's table" season with your children, but someday, they will graduate to the adult table. I think the image of two different tables is a helpful one to think about your current stage of parenting vs the one you'll have someday.

To take the example one step further, I've often reflected on the values we fed to our kids while they were still little to prepare them for the adult table one day. What you choose to feed your 3-13 year olds shapes your family and their futures for decades to come.

Someday they will sit at the adult table in life, and you're preparing them for that future day in your current season of family.

4-Course Meal

1. Connection (Build It)

The memories, bonds, and heart connections you form with your children during the early years are the foundation of everything else. The love and discipline you give them today establish trust and a deep relationship moving forward.

Building a connection with your kids doesn't just happen. Choosing to take young kids with you most everywhere you go, will be one of the best investments you can make in their life. Every child will be a unique and special connection with you as a mom or dad and you won't ever regret it for one second.
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2. Character (Shape It)

Adults know the power of personal character. They hope to raise kids who work hard, show kindness, and live with integrity. Parents of 3-13 year olds have daily opportunities to help shape the character of their young kids.

We found focusing on 1-2 deep character qualities per child each year was helpful. When you pick a couple of specific areas of character, you'll feel focused and clear enough to be able to reinforce it often. It's true that more is caught than taught, but character development requires a mountain of teachable moments over time.

3. Courage (Give It)

One of my parenting mentors used a phrase that has stuck with me for over two decades. He said, "Spend your days as a mom or dad pouring courage into your kids." It's the act of giving them the belief they will need inside themself to face an unknown world.

Imparting courage is not affirming things that aren't true or giving them a false sense of confidence. It's highlighting their strengths, helping them test their limits, and lending them your belief when they don't have any.
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4. Conviction (Establish It)

A family framework that we leaned on for years when raising our young kids was this: belief comes before behaviors. In other words, we wanted to let our family convictions inform and influence our family choices. This was true on both a family and individual level.

Helping establish convictions in your kids before they reach their teenage years is necessary if they are going to graduate to the adult table. Mostly, they need to see your convictions lived out as grown-ups and have healthy conversations with you about the beliefs they choose to hold on to.

Someday you'll be sitting at the adult table, sharing a holiday meal with your kids when they are all grown up. If you have fed them early on with the values of connection, character, courage, and conviction, you'll be overjoyed at the family you have gathered around together.

See you next Friday,
Finley

PS. Thanks for forwarding this email along to any other friends who are power-decade parents like yourself who'd like to read along each Friday too.